With all of the Chris Christie media attention going around today, I find it incredibly difficult to write about how blatantly annoying Beyoncé has become. But I’m going to do it anyway because it is important. That, and if you think I am going to politicize my blog you are literally out of your mind.
I’m going to be the first one to say this because no one else will, and that’s fine. But you guys…
I’m over Beyoncé. There, I said it. Yeah yeah, I know she is “The Queen” and “can do no wrong” except she totally can and has gotten so annoying that I can’t even listen to her right now. Alright, yes I can, but I have to pretend it’s someone else singing because I just cannot stomach all of that ego in one song.
Now, let me explain. I was in the same boat as you guys, once. When she released her Single Ladies music video, I could not deny the power of her tight choreography and incredible thighs. I “Kiley-popped” to Check Up On It like every other girl in the world. I was in hysterics when I found out Bey was performing at the Super Bowl because I knew it would kick astronomical ass, and it did.
But then ‘Bow Down’ came out. And in the words of Sienfeld’s Newman, “It changed me in a very deep and profound way from that day forward.”
I want to take us back to a time when we all thought Tom Cruise was on top of the world—I know, scary to think about, right? He was a dominating force in the acting world, and still arguably is, however at one time he was a humble and captivating professional. He was immensely talented and we all knew it, but after a decade, it wasn’t just the general public that thought he was the “king of cinema.” He started to think (and nauseatingly say…all the time) how amazing he was. And naturally we were all turned off. I mean, he is a special case because shortly thereafter he jumped on the crazy train and went absolutely mental, but is that where Beyoncé is headed? I hope not.
Just take a look at the lyrics to ‘Bow Down’ and you will see what I am getting at here. Beyoncé not only thinks she is the Queen of all that is (not only the music industry but) the world itself, she wants us to bow down to her and sing her praise because we all have wanted to be Beyoncé our whole lives.
VOMIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I think confidence is the most sexy thing on Earth. As I always say, I am turned on by people who have a little bit of an ego, because if you don’t think you are amazing, why would I? BUT there is a fine fine line, and shouting these tasteless lyrics at your fan base is just gross.
As if this weren’t enough, she does one MORE thing! SHE RELEASES THIS SECRET ALBUM TO ESSENTIALLY SAY, “KISS MY PERFECT ASS! YOU GUYS HAD NO IDEA I WAS DOING THIS! I DID IT ALL BEHIND YOUR BACKS AND YOU WERE SO STUPID YOU DIDN’T EVEN KNOW! MY RECORD WILL GO TRIPLE PLATINUM IN A WEEK AND I DIDN’T EVEN HAVE TO PROMOTE IT!”
Ugh. I just…
With that said, she has a lot of good hits and they are fun to flip your hair to at the bar or bop along with in your car. I also listened to said secret album and Partition is good (the rest is “eh”), but if you ask me to talk about her as a person expect a flip out. I now categorize her along with Brett Favre. And no one before her was in the same category as Brett Favre, so you know I’m serious.
Look, if you have something to be confident about, be. But Goddddd, don’t ever release a song or statement like that. I heard an argument yesterday that she only recently turned into such a raging egomaniac to counteract Hova’s cheating allegations. But if you’re so confident and all about loving yourself despite what others say…then she is even more hypocritical than I already thought she was.
No one was saying Tom Cruise wasn’t talented, just that he was an egocentric asshole. And that is virtually all I’m saying here about Beyoncé. You know what, maybe I’m just bitter because I really do want to be Beyoncé. Except I don’t. And because I couldn’t talk about Chris Christie more, I wanted to close with this.