This year’s Grammy Awards was probably the best award show I’ve ever seen. To be honest, I don’t even have anything bad to say about Guiliana Rancic pre show, with her usual bad jokes and overly rehearsed one liners about George Clooney. She was actually kind of funny this time around, which is unheard of, I know. During the red carpet coverage I was absolutely certain that I was experiencing the early stages of glaucoma because there was no way everyone looked that good. But this was also the night I made my first harmonious dinner in the new house, so my endorphins (and senses, apparently) were out of control. I’ll let you know at the end who I think really came out winning the Grammys, but in breaking it down…
- The 2014 Grammys have drastically altered my life journey from becoming a nice, well-rounded girl who can cook, write her own checks, and execute the twenty-two year plan I wrote when I was eighteen, to the sole mission of discovering what Daft Punk looks like. So congrats on the million Grammys, I guess. I’ll be seeing you, Daft Punk.
- Whoever is in charge of PR for Robin Thicke deserves a Grammy her/himself for hooking him up with Chicago, because he really needed an image overhaul after the VMA’s. When you strip him down of the Beetlejuice tuxedos and naked Mileys, guy’s got talent.
- Everyone should take a second and realize that John Legend is, in fact, not your boyfriend. Although it is easy to think that if you listen to “All of Me” enough. His voice…that song…
- While ‘Drunk in Love’ is s-u-c-h a jam and singing “Nah Nahhhhh” makes us feel so free and alive (I know you feel that way too), I still can’t wrap my head around exactly how nauseated I am by Beyoncé. But I’ve been there done that, as they say, on my road to disliking Beyoncé. Here if you haven’t read.
- Speaking of her performance, a headline on Yahoo today said “Beyoncé’s Sexy Grammys Performance: Copy the Look!” and after hours of researching I have finally found the one soul who clicked the link and achieved this newsworthy look…surfboard.
- Poor Kacey Musgraves got severely jipped. Her first Grammy experience reminds me of the time that my parents signed me up for an all boys soccer team. Our coach told us we were going to start slow for the beginners of the group (I imagine I was thinking, “Amateurs…”) and to start by dribbling the ball across the gym. Because I was a point guard for my school, I thought that this was the best gig ever and it would be the perfect time to show all the boys my “skills.” It wasn’t until I was half way across the court, bouncing the soccer ball between my hands that I noticed everyone kicking their soccer balls…because that is how you dribble in soccer. I was mortified. I didn’t see it coming. It wasn’t fair!
I imagine this is the same mortification that Kacey Musgraves must have felt when she realized that she was following the Imagine Dragons and Kendrick collab. It wasn’t fair, it wasn’t right. How could she have known that her skills (like mine), though brilliant, would just not be right in that moment? That this was just not the time and place for her and her talents? You’ll get ’em next time, Kacey.
- Queen Latifa is the shit. The Macklemore performance was really good and so unimaginably sweet, perhaps groundbreaking. Madonna only moderately ruined the moment with her white pantsuit reminiscent of Big Daddy from Django Unchained. There are so many comparisons that people are making to her outfit, but if I list them out I might have a laugh induced ring of seizures, and I can’t afford that today.
- I learned that “Macklemore” is pronounced “Mack-le-more” instead of Mackle-more.” Don’t…please…don’t act like you knew that.
- Katy caught the bouquet so naturally a super sexual John Mayer wedding is imminent, yes! I’m glad I’m not friends with her on Facebook though, because I don’t know if I could handle one more couple announcing their engagement this week (I’ve got three friends so far). And don’t misunderstand I am so happy for them! But hearing that John Mayer would be permanently off the market would push me over the edge.
- Pharrell’s hat. His awkward and terrifyingly large hat. That’s it.
And the winner of the 2014 Grammy Awards? (Drumroll, please!) Brrrrthththththth…It’s a tie. Not one, but two Kendrick’s stole the show on Sunday night. Of course, I’m talking about Anna Kendrick and Kendrick Lamar.
Anna wins best dressed, one hundred million percent. The next closest would be Ciara, and even she is trailing by a mile. She wore a strapless Azzaro gown with Chimento diamond earrings and Barbara Bui heels.
And while Daft Punk took home the most awards of the night, the real winner was the unanticipated mash-up of Imagine Dragons and Kendrick Lamar. It was really, really really, good. You can’t beat that guy, Kendrick Lamar, can you? And even if you didn’t see it live, I’m sure you’ve heard about it because it’s all anyone on social media can talk about, which is exactly what they wanted. Congrats, guys.
And there we have it. I missed Paul McCartney on stage and I can’t find any good video of it, so feel free to shed some light. Lorde was everything you would have expected from Lorde so I don’t feel right making a whole bullet about it. And I still feel bad that Taylor Swift was attacked during her performance, though she by all accounts pushed through until the very end. Take a look. Oh, and watch the State of the Union Address if you haven’t. Ok, ok. Done.