I want to start out by saying that making plans to blog for twenty-five days straight over Christmas when I can hardly keep a lunch date was incredibly ambitious. But I have a feeling that divulging all of my holiday secrets was going to be too overwhelming for you all anyhow–better luck next year. And anyway, this is a new year and a new me, so I can’t be held accountable for the past actions of last year’s me. Ok?
Now, I’ve heard your texts and emails. I’ve listened to your calls and voice memos. I even recently had a card sent to my home address threatening my physical life if I didn’t publish a blog–and I hear you. But you have to understand that I’ve been busy dating and living and as Lena Dunham would put it, “trying to become who I am.”
But now that the new year has begun, I feel that I am like … totally and emphatically who I am and who I was always meant to be??? It’s almost unbearable how “me” I have become. So this post is as much a promise as it is a threat, because the blog is going to undergo some major changes in an attempt to bring OMTKP up to speed with my refreshing departure into self-awareness and personal discovery. *Wink*. And that’s important for you too, because how would I be able to give you the quintessential “one more things” you need in your life if I wasn’t one-hundred percent self-aware? The threat comes in here: if you get left behind in the process well, that’s a tough sacrifice that I’m willing to make … Just kidding I could never leave you behind but like, you really need to learn how to embrace change, alright?
In the meantime, you’re going to need one more thing to keep you warm during this, um, insane -30 degree windchill–and that is to invest in a heated blanket or find a set of masculine, warm arms to snuggle into. Both have been seriously helpful to me this week. And while a heated blanket is sure to come with a lot less emotional baggage, the set of warm and toned arms can jiggle your butt to sleep, making them infinitely more valuable. So it’s really a personal choice, you decide. I could probably write a whole blog about it–I probably will. Just kidding I probably won’t.
Click ‘play’ before continuing:
*Take a second to embrace Lea Michele singing “Auld Lang Syne.”*
As always, I wish the absolute best for you in 2015! May you spend it with the people who matter to you, may all of your wildest dreams come true, and may you lose all of the holiday weight you’ve put on. I truly apologize for being a life-liver/dreamer/pseudo-slacker/space-case this last month, but get over it. See you when the new site is up! I
OH and one more more thing you can do is add me on Trivia Crack because I’m really good and I’m hoping you’re not.